ScrewYouGuys!

We arrived at the Port nice and early and hit the streets in search of plain curry free food to take with us on the trip, as it was a sunday all we managed to come up with with crackers, bread, cookies, crisps and water. Okay not the most nutritious but at least we wouldn’t have bad bellies or starve!

So we get to the gates at the port and the guard tells us that we are not allowed to walk port side and would have to wait for a bus by this time it was 14:00 according to our tickets embarking time. We are then told to wait at the end of the road for a further hour, it was all very quiet port side and it dawned on us that something wasn’t quite right. A rickshaw driver came over hassling about getting an auto and when we told him that we were getting he ferry he told us that ferry go tomorrow, now the stupid thing is Sam had already mentioned that morning did we have the right day but we were sure and forgot to check on leaving the guest house that morning. To be honest most of the time we didn’t (and still don’t) have an idea what day or time it is let alone the date! So sure enough we checked and it was confirmed we were a pair of numpties and had arrived a day early!!

With that we then took the auto to find a room in Chennai again, once again heading for the Egmore district.

Now our first time in Chennai although fairly brief we struggled to find anything of interest really, we headed back to the same area and found a room in the Hotel Regal for 100Rs cheaper but it was about the same standard as Masa which wasn’t great. We hit the streets once again hoping to finding something but we just found dirty streets to be honest and not much going on. After wandering for some hours and in the middle of what seemed nowwhere, I spotted a wonderous sight in the form of a sign saying BAR!! It looked like a dingy little place at the base of a hotel called Kings Hotel where I thought it would be a no women allowed policy. I could have kissed the ground when I found that not only was that not the case, but it fact it was a very smart little bar inside, lovely friendly waiters and cold beer and free bar snacks, happy days!

A few beers later and a table full of an array of different snacks and a sh*t load of soup (they brought us 4 bowls each and weren’t going to stop at that) we had to tell them that the free snacks were delicious but we were so full we could hardly drink anymore beer! Also in this bar they had a big TV showing the England vs India cricket match so the place started to fill up, we had such a great day/evening with friendly banter between us and a great group of Indian guys we met with us being the only English in the place of course. We all staggered out of there pretty merry its fair to say and Sam and I were just a few minutes into the stagger home when a motorbike pulled up alongside with a remember me!? We certainly did, we’d been drinking with him all night and he offered us a lift, so 3 of us whizzing through the streets at night in Chennai, protected only by flip-flops and a bottle of gypsy tears, what a nice man (and very drunk!) He said to us that we were like Gods in his country and it was his honour to assist us, what a thoroughly nice chap!

After that our opinion of Chennai changed somewhat so we were glad we arrived for the ferry a day early.

Hello Everyone, belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!!

Firstly apologies for the lack of updates but I can asure you it’s not been through lack of us trying, big thanks to Timmay for keeping things going and very much improved I must say. Well it’s hard to know where to start with it all so bear with us here, most of our time since our last update was spent in the Andamans which as you can see from the pics was kinda alright I guess, we spent a month there chilling and a bit of diving but with no internet and most of the time no electricity hence no updates then we made a mad dash to Goa and currently we’re in Hampi but more of that later I’ll try to go back to where we left off. We’ll add all the new posts in date order over the next few days so keep checking below to see the latest updates. We’ll get all up to date soon so watch this space…

So we arrived at Mamallapuram and the first thing we asked is can we buy tickets to the Andamans? That would be a big fat negative!! The only place you can get them is the shipping office in Chennai, so we thought we might as well stay and planned to head back first thing. We stayed a really nice place called Hotel Lakshmi where we got a cheap room for about 300Rs and it had a pool so can’t grumble at that, the lonely planet says that the owner can be a little over bearing but we found him nothing more than accommodating and enjoyed the fact that he had a morning ritual of blessing everything and I mean everything!! The steps of the rooms, the shelves in his shop even his dog got a red spot on his forehead and splashed with water, nothing escaped! From the pool there is a pathway stright down to the beach which as you can see from the pics is nothing to write home about. This is a working beach though used by the local fishermen and was also hit by the Tsunami and is still suffering the effects. Still we found the place to be nice, the streets were clean and quiet, not really any hassle here but the shops owners do pester you time and time again to visit their shop no matter how many times you walk past they still ask. Lots of little seafood restaurants which were average but not particularly cheap so we treated ourselves to a seafood supper and a beer or two before bed.

Next morning we were up bright and early and got a bus back to Chennai which was about 2hrs and only cost 22Rs (and went exactly the same beach road route as the rickshaw might I add so don’t be fooled!)

The bus station you get dropped at isn’t the one shown in the 2007 lonely planet guide, that one is for local buses only so we were a bit confused when we got there so we headed for the train station, from there we got a rickshaw from a pre paid stand inside the station which works out cheaper and then we arrived at the shipping office hearts pounding, hopefully we could get tickets.

Now what they don’t tell you - so if you’re planning on doing this this is what you will need - is 3 photocopies of both your visa and passport picture page, plus 2 passport sized photos each, also they only take cash.

So we arrived, head to the first floor and push through the rabble to get a form and you are a number, we filled out the form and then had to make a mad (sir chicken digby caesar) dash through the streets trying to organise photocopies and cash. These sorted we ran back pushed back through the rabble and at the first opportunity shoved all paperwork and passports through the hole in the metal grill counter front. About 10 mins later very much to our surprise, we were presented with 2 magical tickets to the Andamans 1950rs each bunk class…what had we let ourselves in for!?

With much relief and a spring in our step we headed back to Mamallapuram

We stayed here for a further four nights, we had planned to head to Pondicherry but I fell ill and so decided to stay and just relax and prepare ourselves for the epic boat trip ahead.

The boat is supposed to take about 60hrs but there are many horror stories of 12hr delays just leaving and judging by the cleanliness of the places we had been so far and how rickety the buses are, we really were expecting the absolute worst, a little wooden rowing boat with a stinking toilet or something similar, I actually had quiet a few bad dreams about it!

D-Day, the morning arrived we got back on the bus and headed back to Chennai yet again..

So leaving Bangalore thankfully we headed to Chennai in the Tamil Nadu region with hopeful dreams of getting to the Andaman  Islands, after 5 hrs on a train we landed and after consulting the lonely guide we though our best bet was to head to the Egmore district for cheap accommodation. We struggled to find a room and ended up in a place called Masa hotel for about 460Rs, basic room not very clean but we were tired and it was a place to get our heads down. We did however find a really nice place to eat down the main road opposite the train station in Egmore, can’t remember the name but the roast ghee masala dosa was pretty amazing and very cheap.

Next morning we woke with a spring in our step and headed straight for the Shipping office in Chennai to find out about ferry tickets to the Andamans. On arriving we were told that a boat was due to leave in 6 days time but tickets weren’t on sale until the following day so we were filled with hope and planned to stay in Chennai another night until our “helpful” rickshaw driver told us that we could buy tickets anywhere. We were planning on heading to a nice little place called Mamallapuram after Chennai and after a quick phone call to his brother who lived there he confirmed that we could buy tickets there, brilliant! So off we headed to Mamallapuram with said rickshaw driver after we barted for a half price ride on the promise that he would take us the scenic beach road route much better than the bus (you know where this is going don’t you)

Today started quite slowly due to the hangovers we were both nursing, far too much rum slipped slyly (it’s a very cheap way of doing it at 3 quid a bottle) into meagre glasses of coke the night before as well as plenty of beer to make it look like that was why we were getting drunk.  A lie in was the best cure and we got up around lunchtime then spent the best part of three hours updating the website and uploading pictures.

The train journey from Mysore to bangalore was hot, sweaty and smelly but only three hours long, we arrived in the dark at around 7 to be confronted by little kids eyeing our bags up and hoards of leachorous men oggling Kelly, not what we wanted and we were miles away from anywhere to stay. Having been here before and enjoying it the last time I was keen for Kelly to find something nice about the place. After a hectic 2hours walking around we were beaten into submission and got a rickshaw to the MG Road district where i knew it was less stinking and we might have had a chance of holding onto our bags!

We got dropped off about halfway down and headed for a place called Brindavan Hotel, it sounded cheap. It’s address was 108 MG Rd and when we got to 104 and the building after that was 112 we’d had enough. After speaking with a guy at a shop selling ham he directed us back the way we came and sure enough it was extremely close to exactly where we’d been dropped off! Quite funny the next day but at the time urrrgggh! The room wasn’t cheap and set us back 850 Rp, the most we’ve paid so far and yet it was among the bleakest, no shower or hotwater which we’re not too bothered about but you expect a bit more if your paying the extra. We didn’t have a choice at this time of night and paid the money.

We were STARVING! I’d build myself up into a frenzy and promised myself a few quarter pounders from the MacDonalds that I remembered seeing last time I was here. I splashed out and told Kelly dinner tonight was on me, we found the MacDonalds (it called to me) and……I was gutted. No beef on the menu, i didn’t want chicken or fish I wanted beef and lots of it. I settled for three chicken burgers and a Macfillet o fish which sadly lacked any beef. Never the less it filled a gap and for once it wasn’t spicy which gave our stomachs a rest. We returned to the room exhausted and still feeling the effects of the night before.

We only stumbled upon going to Mysore as it was easier to get to than Ooty so we planned to nip here for a night then off to Ooty the next day.

We arrived at Mysore and were unsuccessful at the first few places we tried to stay at as they were full, we were offered a room for about 300Rs that looked like they had just removed a corpse from the bed as they saw us coming,  we managed to get a place at the Chamundi Vasathi Gruha , the manager wasn’t overly friendly and showed us a room which was ok but the shower didn’t work, he wouldn’t budge on dropping the price or giving us the empty room next door where the shower did work, most helpful. As Sam was trying to explain to him what was wrong with the shower I checked out the rest of the room and was stood in the doorway when a fat Indian bloke sticked his head out from the room across the way, next minute he comes out absolutely starkers and starts shaking hands with the bishop infront of me!!! Im traumatised by the image! so I go in and tell Sam who in turns tells the manager, the manager then starts hammering and shouting at the guys door, eventually he answers and is met by a pretty hard slap across the face and the blows kept coming, it got to the point that Sam had to say enough was enough and the fat dude was promptly kicked out of the hotel, after which the manager was alot nicer to us and gave us a better room.

After that we understandably needed a strong drink so headed out to the streets of Mysore to find a bar. En route we were befriended by a man who apparently owner an amsterdam style coffee bar and was following us basically but said eh could help us to find a place to drink, he then takes us to a street full of many places to drink but I wouldn’t be part of the party, the idiot actually expected me to stand outside whilst he and Sam went for a beer, obviously this didn’t happen so he leads us off somewhere else still going on about his cafe and eventually we find a nice roof top bar and restaurant but not before seeing some of the ugliest tranvestites you’ve ever seen and a crazy woman ranting at everyone. The guy then tells us he will wait for us downstairs whilst we go for a drink, uninterested in going to his ‘cafe’ we politely tell him not to bother and swan off for a well needed beer.

A few beers later and whilst now eating tea he comes up to our table presumably bored of waiting for us, and tell us we can have an hour more to finish up and then we could go with him, now steady on sunshine no one tells us how long we have to do anything so we told him to get lost.

A few more beers later and we thought we should explore a bit of what else Mysore has to offer, heading towards the brightly lit up Maharaja’s Palace and finding that India is a lot easier to handle when drunk Sam thought it a good idea to go for a horse and trap ride around the city with the craziest man he could find, it was ace and the landor driver was clearly off his head.  

Crazy Horse Ride in Mysore

After all the giddy excitement we head back for more beer then bed. After deciding that we rather enjoy Mysore we decided to stay another night and armed ourselves with a bottle of rum for the evening. Wandering around we were be-friended by yet another guy who said he owned the amsterdam style bar, funny that as we thought we met him yesterday. This man (who clearly fancied Sam) said not to trust others and that he was a muslim and so would tell us the truth. We had heard about some sort of 1 day festival thing yesterday where people make incense and beedies and you can watch but we missed seeing that due to enjoying the beer too much. This guy said that was a lie and that it was on all the time and we could watch the place was just around the corner he said, walking along we just happen to meet his brother the rickshaw driver who tells us he’s heading that way and will give us a lift for free (we already know nothing is free but thought we’d see it out he wasn’t getting a penny). We got dropped quite a way out of town at what just looked like a house with a poor old woman sat in the doorway making incense sticks, we then meet a very jolly man called Ranji who says he will show us around and then leads us behind a curtain to what was a very small room filled with incense and oils it quickly was made clear to us this was an opium den and we hastily made our excuses and left. We then got back to town finished the rum and made plans to leave the next morning.

Not quite as smooth a journey, got our phones sorted in the morning with local sims (for those I told my number to the other day as I was emailing you to give out the number I was so preoccupied adding pics to the site I walked out of the internet cafe with my phone on charge, sure its charged by now but unfortunately I no longer have it!) Got the ferry then had a few hours wait at the train station so we had quite a nice Thali with egg not sure what all the other stuff you get are yet! We met our Indian vet friends who were on the same train too, small place India. It took 5 hours to get to Calicut and from here we decided to push on and try and get closer to the sanctuary so we could be there early doors. We got a bus from Calicut to Kalpetta which was the scariest bus ride of our lives some are funny but this was far from it. He was a nutter released from some local asylum surely and not only that they let his friend out too who was driving the bus behind. It was 3 god awful hours on this bus luckily in the dark so we couldn’t see quite how drastic the drops on either side of the road were but they were racing each other! The nutcase behind was constantly side by side with ours both with horns on full pelt and often with another bus coming the other way. But we’re still alive I’m glad to report and never taking that route again!

We arrived in a place called Kalpetta about 10pm so didn’t see much but don’t think there was much to see and the people we met were the only really unfriendly ones we’ve met so far. Found some crappy lodgings not sure of the name of it but at 440Rs it was pretty steep for what it was!

Next morning we were woken at about 3am with the call to pray from the local mosque after our long day travelling the day before not what we had hoped for! We headed out for a bus and were glad when it arrived not a good vibe at this place and we were right to assume we hadn’t missed anything by daylight. We got a bus to the sanctuary, no one else was there, we hired a jeep driver and guide for 700Rs and head off with tails of wild elephants, tigers and bears…it was a fun bumpy jeep ride and a great morning but sadly all we saw were termites, deer, lots of deer, bees and a few monkeys…

Mon... key! Mon... key!

we saw elephants as we were on the bus leaving the place so at least we can say we saw them!

We had a seamless journey here we jumped straight on a rickshaw to the train station where our train was already waiting 11Rs each for a 3hr journey brilliant! Really enjoying the sleeper class they have its better than British rail and even cleaner!

off the train into another rickshaw and straight onto a ferry to Fort Cochin.

I’m not sure quite what we were expecting, we had been told there wasn’t much there but with its Portguese houses and varied colonial past we reckoned it was worth a visit. As we were told there wasn’t much there but it was nice enough at least it was clean something we’re treasuring where we can! After getting a room at Spice Holidays Homestay 350Rs we wandered around, alot of nicer restaurants here but out of our price range so we settled for a street side restaurant and drank warm beer poured from a teapot, saw quite a few guys from the boat trip mulling around here too but the Catholic Church is about one of the only main things to see so we planned to head on the next day to try and get to Wayanad Wildlife Sanctuary a bit further north, we were a bit disappointed that we had missed Periyar Wildlife Sanctuary which is one of the main ones but it was quite far out and worked out quite expensive for us to get there so we went for this smaller one..

..So we happily board the boat for the trip to Alleppey and its full of other tourists from all over, we got taking to a group of about 8 Indian vets who were on a conference trip, lovely bunch and they fed the whole boat lunch with a sort of bombay mix and sweet dumplings very nice indeed. The boat was a bargain we only paid 400Rs each and we had such a lovely day just cruising through the palm fringed backwaters and past fishermen and local villages would definitely recommend this as a way to spend a leisurely day in India.

Sam found this coconut and was very impressed he got a free drink/meal!

We see some not so nice bits such as the bloated goats intestines which occasionally floated past but the rest of the scenery more than covered it.

never get out of the boat!

After 8 lovely hours we arrive in Alleppey at night and as soon as I step of the boat I’m surrounded by indian men trying to offer rooms and rickshaws so much so that I couldn’t even walk forward or cross the street, a harsh smack back down to reality, Sam pulled me outta there and we wandered off to find that nights place to stay.

After unsuccessfully finding a place to stay even with the unwanted help of everyman in Alleppey who’s brother has a ‘lovely place to stay’ and they all know someone with a boat to do the backwaters we jump in a rickshaw and end up at the Vrindavanam Hertitage Home, now this place is massively under rated in the book a little beautiful clean safe haven from the bustling streets. The price was only about 350 Rs the room was lovely made from bamboo and thatch and they were all set around a courtyard garden. When we arrived other travellers were sat out on the communal balcony or in hammocks, they serve really good food and semi cold beer in the garden too and then a guy started playing guitar and singing, this was so chilled out and one of our favourite days so far.

Vrindavanam Hertitage Home - garden

Next day we laze around, drink chai and read papers in the garden, had a little look at the beach and then we headed off for another backwater tour this time on a canoe just for us with the promise of seeing far more than the previous days trip which we loved. 

Our Canoe

We had had thoughts of taking a few bottles of red wine with us but luckily didn’t find any, now its not like me to say luckily but the boat wasn’t quite like the picture, very small and carrying many other passengers to which my legs are still carrying the bites! It was a lovely day though we stopped off and tried the local toddy which is the homebrew tapped from coconut palms. best word s to describe it are swamp waters, looked tasted and smelt like it, I gave it a few goes but it started to make me gag, Sam on the other hand got a take out! Thankfully he decided better of it later on otherwise he’d have been a very poorly man. The canoe was more expensive than the boat and to be honest we didn’t see anything different just lovely backwater scenery and we got to stand in a rice paddy field, the boat man was quite keen on keep getting us to go in these but after more nibbles on my legs I was good for seeing rice to be honest especially after the ravaging they had just got when he took us down the murkiest swamp bit, we though to look for bats as we had mentioned, the bats here are enormous! still trying to get a picture..anyway it was one bit after another second after second, turned out he was just nipping home to get his phone charger off the missus!! That night we got back just in time for a fantastic down pour and lightening which was great to watch with a semi cold beer!

Well I’ll keep this brief what a dump! Whoever wrote the section on this place in the lonely planet has a vivid imagination! I’ll give you s few examples… “Kollam Beach you can stroll past Keralan fishing hamlets where fishermen mend their nets and fishingboats colour the shoreline…” now, to an extent that is true lots of fishermen and boats but certainly not a place to stroll, the beach is full of litter and little holes dug out everywhere full of poo, judging by the footprints at either side of the holes it didn’t take long to guess who the culprits where!

poo man of kollam?

The whole place was pretty awful, dirty and full of poo!! We stayed in quiet a nice place though called the Government Guest House at about 350Rs shame though lovely old building and rooms but its just being left to rot away no care is being taken of it at all but still a nice room tyo stay in. The next day we couldn’t wait to get away from the delights of Kollam so we head off early, walked past the stinking shore of Ashtamundi Lake and booked ourselves on an 8hr boat trip through the Kerelan backwaters to Alleppey..